Where New Beginnings Began

I’ve been obese for my entire adult life.

I started gaining weight at the age of 18 once I moved out of home and started “cooking” for myself. Usually my meals consisted of going to the nearest shop and picking up a pie. I shudder looking back now, walking to work to get my two morning meat pies just for breakfast. Lunchtime usually saw something similar, maybe a battered hot dog or hamburger. I was a fat-gobbling piece of shit.

My girlfriend at the time called me out on it one night after a heated debate; she told me she didn’t think I was looking after myself anymore. I just shrugged it off and kept munching down on shithouse junk food until my weigh ballooned.

By twenty seven I had hit 142kg, this was a long way away from the modest 85kg I was when I was 18 and very active. In between I had gotten depressed, developed body-image issues and was always aware that no matter what room I walked into, I was going to be the fattest.

So in January of 2013, earlier this year I started to change my ways. I began looking at what I ate, controlled it, brought it in line with what an adult should eat. I got better at cooking, trying as many new things as possible, trying to cut down on the fat and controlling my portions. I got people around me eating well too.

Then in June I knew I needed to take it to the next level so I signed up with a gym and started the next step. Then I got too comfortable, making excuses for being lazy. So then I tightened down, started training harder and eating better. As of today I have lost 18kgs (Current: 124kg) and I feel incredible. I look back and see that everything I have achieved so far is on my own shoulders, while people have congratulated and supported me so far it hasn’t been them getting up at 6am to go for a run, it’s not them pulling that last few reps, it has been me.

But what started all of this? What motivated me in the first place?

Late last year I was walking through a clothing store and complained to my fiancé about how there is never any decent clothes for bigger guys. I was shattered that I couldn’t get things to fit me that looked good, big men clothing is ordinary at best. That’s when I realised where the problem lied.

It wasn’t Target’s fault for not having a great range of clothing for big guys, it was my fault for being a big guy. I used to blame my income, my insecurities and the people around me for making me feel worse than I probably needed to. It took almost ten years to realise that it wasn’t them, it was me. It was the six-hundred-plus pies a year. It was the large pizzas with the large Coke and the garlic bread to myself, it was the videogames I would spend a weekend playing instead of going outside.

It was my fault from the start, not anyone else’s. I got over my insecurities, sure I look like a lava lamp every time I go for a run now, but every day I tighten back up and who knows, tomorrow I might look less like one. I stopped eating garbage, I read the labels now, I understand what goes in to my body. I stopped the Cokes, the biggest meal I could get from KFC, the pies and the full blocks of chocolate to myself.

It took a long time to get to a place where I’m ready to fight back, now I’m eating right, exercising hard and living healthy. I know the side-effects of having junk food and the extra-hard gym session the next day is a chore that I know I have to do.

I’m spending less money on food, I don’t play as many video games, I spend more time cooking food than eating it and every day I continue I feel more confident and stronger. I’m not my old self yet, I still have 30kg to get there but I feel now that I can do it easily.

Once I get there I’m going to do my best to ensure that other people can do the same, to identify their problems and take control of their life again. I will write, teach and guide people who are like I was last year to breaking out of that fat-man prison I was in.

If you or someone you know is in the same boat I was, pass this along to them, get in touch on Twitter or Facebook. I won’t charge you anything to pass this knowledge on because I never paid for it.

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