To get me back into writing, I’m going to run with a few writing prompts for the time being. Like anything, you just need to stretch before going for a run.
You are formerly the God of Dinosaurs, however, due to the God of Meteors, you’re now out of a job. You’re at the Celestial Bureaucracy Central Office, hunting for another position.
I drummed my fingers on the receptionist’s desk impatiently. I’d lost count of how long I was waiting for someone to see me, maybe a few million years? Ten or so? Time has always been tricky for us immortals but this is the only way I can make it relevant for the folks back in the Middle.
The surly receptionist had finally arrived but took her time rifling through papers, reading her appointment log and gossiping with Debra in the booth over. I like to think of myself as a patient being, but sometimes it’s tested.
Right at the moment I was about to snap, she turned and looked me up and down while grumpily sitting in her chair. She took in my ensemble, the safari hat, the white and beat-up Jurassic Park tee, equipped with coffee stains and a nondescript smudge.
‘Name?’ he mumbled, clearing her throat twice while saying it, probably choking on a clump of muffin she was scoffing behind the counter while I waited an eternity.
‘Thumbdone, Perecles Thumbdone’ I said clearly, as if I hadn’t spent most of the last few million years in line practising my lines. She made a strange sound, like a grumpy house cat being disturbed in a particularly good spot of sunlight.
‘Hrumph?’ I asked, ‘just hrumph?’.
She barely glanced up.
‘Mister Thumbdone’ she sighed, ‘do you mind waiting a moment? I just need to speak with my supervisor’.
‘That’s-‘ I winced slightly, my right eye twitching, ‘that’s fine’.
She turned and skulked away, maybe via the muffin table, she was out of sight but I’m sure I could hear her jowls flapping from the desk.
At this point I also turned and slumped down to the ground, propped up against the desk, no doubt cursed to spend the rest of reality waiting for a new job.
Life is seemingly pointless without a job motivating you to get out of bed each day, giving a reason to have a shower or to shave, not that I really did either. What’s worse is being made redundant.
I remember the day he swaggered in, his red hair standing upright, held with some sort of demonic hair spray. He was an instant hit, the new guy, the hotshot, the guy in every office that works hard to make a name for himself and a very uncompetitive workplace.
I was in a great position already, I was head ancient anthropologist, the guy in charge of the dinosaurs. My job was simple: Look after them, keep an eye on the evolution and make sure nothing goes wrong.
My career had it’s ups and downs like any other. My Triassic project was a sham, resulting in millions of years of waste and with very little to show for it. I bounced back with the Jurassic, but my master stroke was the Cretaceous project.
But Asshole McAssmouth Jones Snr didn’t like this one bit. He needed to lash out and destroy a project to prove the worth of his new military prototype.
This gave birth to Project Meteor.
The project was quite ingenious, I’ll give him credit there. He would get space debris and start moving it into Earth’s trajectory. Early tests on the moon and nearby Mars had been profoundly successful, he became the office hero shortly after.
Now there was more push than ever to create bigger, badder and more profitable creatures. To meet demands, I sadly sacrificed my integrity in the pursuit of some of the greatest apex predators known, the Tyrannosaur family. Sure, they would be known forever as some of the greatest beasts but I wasn’t half as proud of these as I was for the Compsognathus, but they always forget the Compy.
But as his light shone brighter, mine diminished and he began sabotaging failing projects to allow more money to be funnelled into his.
Eventually the day came, roughly four on a Friday too. He strolled over to my desk as I was winding down for the week and nudged my elbow with his. ‘Want to see something great?’ he asked in his cocky, self-assured manner that made my skin crawl.
He then beckoned me to conference room where his project team were all excitedly watching the projector. This wasn’t any Powerpoint presentation, it was a video feed.
For the next seven minutes I sat in stunned silence while the people around me cheered, high-fived and broke out the beers a little too early in the day for my liking.
Years, millions upon millions of years and my finest work was levelled, leaving nothing but rubble and a smouldering crater where the world once was.
The worst part was that they had already hired a project lead for the upcoming Mammal Project, effectively leaving me on the street without notice.
‘Hun are you still there?’ the receptionist I hadn’t bothered learning the name of croaked, ‘where did he go?’
‘Here I am!’ I called out as I scrambled to my feet, ‘sorry, I was just resting’.
She rolled her eyes and shoved a piece of paper in my direction, an application form.
‘What sort of job is it?’ I asked curiously, quickly filling in the required information.
‘An offshoot of that Mammalian Project from a while back’ she replied, ‘the Sapien Initiative, I believe it’s called’.
‘Sapien, hey?’ I said with a smile, ‘so something I’ve got experience in, excellent, thank you, thank you so much’.
She nodded and faked a smile, ‘sure is right down your alley, love’.
I filled the rest of the form out and slid it back to her.
‘You should hear about it after the weekend’ she said and watched me confidently stroll out of the office, excited by what challenges life was gearing up to throw at me.